Agent Brown sat down at his desk at the CIA field office, setting down a fresh cup of coffee next to his keyboard. He signed onto the secure program that handled messages and opened up a message containing his latest assignment. It said that there are two highly active internet trolls named James and Matt that he needs to keep an eye on. He traced their IP address and pulled up a live screen feed of their current computer activities. He saw that James was playing World of Warcraft and Matt was looking at 4chan threads. Agent Brown went to the 4chan thread Matt was browsing and wrote “I think white men need to be castrated since white men are opposing multiculturalism” and he saw Matt typing out a reply to his post which said “Fuck you, asshole. GTFO of /pol/”. “It worked, yes! I have made first contact” Agent Brown exclaimed in jubilation.
Agent Brown lived in a suburb of the city, in a rich all white neighborhood, with boomer McMansions, of which Agent Brown also owned one. He had a wife and two daughters, aged 10 and 14. All in all, he had a very high paying job and was living a good life. His daughters had no idea what he really did, that is, working for the CIA as basically what most people would refer to as “gang-stalking”. Agent Brown grabbed his coffee and walked out to his car and drove over to James’ apartment and parked around 100 feet away. He took photographs as James, Matt, and Maria walked out of his apartment and got in their car and drove off. Agent Smith drove behind them, and followed them into the parking lot of 7-Eleven. James parked his car in front of the store and all three got out, and Agent Brown parked next to the gas pump and started filling up the tank, while using a mini-camera to film them.
Meanwhile James, Maria, and Matt had a suspicion something was not right and they went into the back office and watched Agent Brown through the surveillance cameras. James said “Well, I can see that fucker glowing in the dark from a mile away. You know what we have to do” and Maria and Matt nodded their heads. They walked back out and got in their car and backed out, and then James hit the gas and drove directly at Agent Smith and THUMP- hit him and dragged his body under the car. He said “I run you over with my car, you CIA nigger!” and dragged Agent Smith’s now lifeless body for another 500 meters before the body decapitated and got left behind. “Dude, that was awesome” Maria said, and they went back to James’ apartment and ate some of the Big Bite hot dogs they had taken.
James, Maria, and Matt felt utterly exhilarated that they had killed a CIA agent by running him over with their car, so they threw a small party and spent all night drinking Coors Light beer, Natural Ice Light beer, and smoking a very small amount of meth to keep them energized. They played World of Warcraft the entire time, and shit-posted on 4chan too. At 6AM the next day, the newspaper delivery boy dropped off the newspaper and James picked it up and unrolled it. The front page headline said “Heroic CIA agent killed in shoot-out with drug lord- leaves behind wife and 2 daughters” and James said “No, fuck you! I killed that CIA nigger by running him over with my car and I KILLED HIM!” and Maria and Matt started laughing their ass off.