The Colors Get All Mixed Up

inside the head

I was a special kid. Basically there were 4 of us, two guys two girls and we were told we could work alone and as fast as we wanted on some textbooks and take the tests whenever. We finished them all in like a week and spent the rest of time just goofing off. I’m happy other ex-gifted kids are finally waking up too. I took an IQ test or assessment when i was way too young to even remember, they just told my mom I was a genius and corralled me into the gifted class with the other totally special students. We had homeroom with the “normal” kids but there was a definite sort of social difference between us. This increased in middle school where gifted kids had completely separate classes from the others and it became very socially insulated. As you described, it was around here I was feeling the burnout and disillusionment, as well as shame from being a social failure and getting singled out by teachers because of it and my grades began falling a lot. In high school i picked up my grades and was “accepted back into the fold” via AP classes, where my classmates were mostly all what you describe as category A kids, groomed for success.

My single mother was horribly abusive and I was in the special program in Oregon’s version at that time. I was always told how special I was etc etc but I was also held to a higher standard than my peers. So, for example, kids would pick on me and I’d retaliate and only I would punished. Those two things are part of how my deep hatred towards illegitimate (not moral/reasonable) authority began and probably why I’m here. I actually ended up in the Army for a while as well.